Who wrote it

Andrew Bunt is a writer and speaker. He is the Emerging Generations director at Living Out (livingout.org), a group helping churches and communities think about faith and sexuality.

Why I read it

As part of my sermon preparation. In particular, I found it difficult to identify good books that addressed the identity angle alongside the sexuality angle. As Andrew is also connected with Sam Allberry in the UK, this gave me some confidence that this might be what I was looking for.

What I liked

It’s a short, punchy book that get’s straight to the heart of the matter. It’s the kind of book you could give someone who wasn’t particularly a reader, and they wouldn’t be put off by the brevity.

I appreciated the way that Bunt unpacks the identity issue through considering our broad options for finding a source – others, self, and God. He does really well to break these down simply and show the flaws and dangers in the first two, and upholds the third as the best source of identity formation.

Bunt also had a great definition for what ‘identity’ is. Often, it seems as if people use the word and hide behind the vagueness of its meaning because it is such a difficult word to define. But Bunt provides an excellent one: “identity is our controlling self-understanding. All of us live with a concept of who we really are and what we believe to be most fundamental and important about us. This is a self-understanding. It’s how we understand our self. And that self-understanding, even if it remains subconscious, impacts how we feel and how we live.”

What I didn’t

Some long books you wish were a lot shorted. Some short books you wish were longer, though always with the fear that increased length might take away from what makes it so good. This is definitely in the latter. I would have loved more, but at the same time, it’s hard to fault for what it is.

Major Takeaway

“In asking ‘Who am I?’ we take for granted that we know how best to find our identity. But do we really?”

“Our sexual desires are not designed to completely fulfil us; rather, they are meant to point us to the one relationship that truly can.”

“As a single, celibate guy, my singleness reminds me that Jesus can fulfil me in a way that no human relationship could. When I feel the force of sexual desire, it reminds me of the force of God’s passionate love for me. And when I look in on healthy marriages, I get an insight into God’s unwavering commitment to me and a reminder of his self-sacrificial love for me.”

Who should read it

It’s an easy read, and a very good one. A great intro on the subject for anyone interested.